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I asked Jesus to come into my heart back in 1995 and was baptized that same night. I guess I wasn't serious about my decision then because not much time after that I was back to my old ways. I didn't have any real support (or so I had thought). I thought that my excuse would be good enough. I still had felt my heart was aching because I had letJesus down. I thought living that way of life just wasn't for me and moved on. I thought my life was going great with being a newlywed and living happily. Little did I know my life was about to crash before me and I would be begging for God to save me. My then-husband had committed adultery and hid it from me.A few years, I had done the same sin and while I was "coming clean" with my then-husband about what I had done, he did the same with his own past. We had a VERY difficult time trying to keep our marriage alive. We both wanted our marriage to work but it was hard trying to look past our betrayals we bothcommitted against each other. While we were still trying to work things out, I still had feelings towards "the other guy." This was the straw that broke the camels back. My then-husband demanded a divorce and I granted him one. I then went to live with the "other guy" and not long after we had lived together and were engaged in sexual sin, I learned I was pregnant and also that he was committing his own sexual sin on the computer. I was crushed with this knowledge and left.
I moved back in with my parents (dad and step-mom). They told me I could only stay there for 2 weeks, then I had to move out because if the management knew I was living there, they would raise my parents rent. So, on midnight of the 14th day of me staying with my parents, I called my mom begging for her to help me because I was about to be homeless and pregnant. She sent me $500 to help me pay some bills and use the rest for food. After I had finished talking to my mom on the phone, I went up to my bedroom and cried. I felt so alone and didn't know what I was going to do next. A little voice inside of me said one word that would change the course of my life. The wordwas "Pray." The first reaction to this voice inside was "what??? why should I do that?" But it came again with a little bit more urgency. So, I did what I was told. I prayed for the first time in a long time. I didn't know what to sayat first but once I started to say what I was feeling and said that I needed help and I asked God to help me and that I couldn't do it by myself. Once I was done praying, I fell asleep.
The next day, my dad and step-mom told me that Icould stay as long as I was paying them $200 a month for to live in the room I was at. That would cover my room and board. Not long after that, I got a job at a local pizza company as a cashier. They let me work the easiest area so I wouldn't become tired as fast. Once I had to leave for maternity leave, I qualified for disability assistance. That was a God-send! After the birth of my son, 5 weeks post-partum, I found a job that paid the most I had ever seen for a cashier, only it wasn't for a cashier, it was for a banking corporation whichlater lead me to become a card dealer. I was making at least 60,000 a year. One night while surfing iTunes, I came across the free download that was featured that week. It was from Shawn McDonald called "Take my hand". I didn't check outthe genre of the music and just downloaded it without a moments thought. Once I started to listen to it, I immediately realized it was a "God" artist. I was hesitant to finish the song but my heart wanted to hear the rest of the song. So I finished it and by the end of the song, I wanted to hear more from him. I went to his site and heard all of his songs. By then, I was wanting to buy his CD off iTunes, which I did. I had never heard worship songs in this sort of fashion before. It was amazing! I mean, the music sounded like all the rest ofthe music I was already listening to, but yet it had a positive message. After buying the CD, I spent the next 4 hours (!!) listening to it and couldn't stop playing that CD for a really long time. I think after a few weeks of listening to it, I began to go to church again and really started to read my Bible. I was filled by the Holy Spirit all over again and have been on fire for God ever since.
Since that time (1.5 years ago) I have been living a Christian life as much as I know how and am learning more everyday. I don't use excuses anymore. I just lean on God and ask him to help me out. He always does! Praise God! I must say that God was delivering what He had promised when I asked Him to help me. I went from almost homeless to having a well paying job which helped me buy two homes within the last 2 years. The whole nine yards. God is good! Well, the saying goes..."God gives and takes away". I am now in the position of moving out of my house due to a foreclosure. I had to quit my job because of security issues. I am not bitter over the events that are taking place because I know God has a better plan than anything I can imagine. I am looking forward to seeing what He has in store for me!
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